Saturday, June 11, 2005

Slayer of creatures of the night

Watched "Blade: Trinity" last night with my bro and a friend. Decent flick, but it got me thinking; which undead hellspawn would I like to fight most?

For starters, there's the vampires. Scary muthas. But at the same time, I know their weaknesses; crosses, garlic, silver (not just limited to werewolves, oh no sir), wooden stakes, fire, decapitation, etc. Yes, I'm aware everyone has their own take on vampires; some movies have them immune to crosses and all that (which brings up a possible post in the secularization of mythic tales), but I figure it'd work. Or at least I'd try it. Another pro is the job satisfaction. I'm sure there's nothing quite like taking a blood sucker down, while there's always the chance I might die, I'd at least know it's for a good cause.

Then there's zombies. Again, quite a few variations on them. We're all used to the lumbering yet oh so strong walking corpses, but some movies portray zombies as Olympic track and field athletes. The former I'd feel very confident in dispatching; aim for the head and it's "bye bye brain eater." Same technicque for the latter, although if they're speedy quick, the risk of mortality goes up.

Werewolves you ask? Yeah, I could take 'em. But at the same time, I don't give much thought to werewolves. I'd actually rather find a cure for them then kill them.

Hmm...missing anything? Ghosts! Oooh, not my field of expertise. So yeah, lets leave those guys out shall we?

Minor creatures like gremlins, goblins, etc. can probably be dealt with as I go along.

Now all I gots to do is find these vile things and rock the kazbah!

6 Comments:

At 12:14 PM, Blogger Dusty said...

Puddin'head the Vampire Slayer--quit the ring to it, eh?

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger adam said...

I think I deserve 3 syllables because I rock so much.

But Adam the Vampire Slayer works. I'd try and work something Biblical into a catchy catch phrase when I kill one.

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger Dusty said...

Yes, Adam, I want fries with that.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger adam said...

I don't think I'd have to give up on a real job...I'm sure I could make something work.

I could be a writer! Pass off my adventures as fiction and make a killing (literally and figuratively).

 
At 11:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forget the less mythic creatures. Think movies like Congo, or Anaconda (the original, not the sucky remake). That wouldn't be that bad, plus there is not risk of becoming a big snake when you get bit by one.

 
At 9:11 PM, Blogger adam said...

The problem with less mythic is that they require more travel time. Zombies and vampires can pop up anywhere; anacondas are only in tropical regions.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home