random girl stuff

The other day, when I was heading to another library for work to photocopy a journal, I saw a girl outside the building which I was supposed to enter. For some reason, I felt like approaching her and asking if she wanted to make out. But I didn't. Besides, she was smoking (kind of a turnoff), and wasn't attractive as close up as I thought she was.

Just as a side note, the woman in "Oprah's weight loss secret" ad is HOT.

Stereotypical male sexism aside, here some things I'm interested in the female gender:

1. Brunette. Truthfully, I'm not picky (the woman in Oprah's ad is blonde), but I do prefer dark haired gals.

2. Must hate "The Simple Life" TV show starring Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie. This is a relationship breaker right here. If she likes it, it's over.

3. Will play tennis. Ok, I might be flexible on this; a lot of girls may not want to play and I can handle that. Really I can. But it's summer, and it'd be GREAT if she was willing to play.

4. Smart, funny, nice. The usual. People say opposites attract, but I disagree;no one's ever said "I want to go out with a mean, selfish jerk" (because I'm an idealist and believe most people out there are good-hearted)

5. I want a girl who will laugh for no one else. When I'm away, she puts the makeup on the shelf. When I'm away she never leaves the house. I want a girl who will laugh for no one else.
...
Ok, I don't actually believe in #5, but if you can guess where I got those lines from, I'll...err..well...you can just feel good about yourself!

6. Her last name starts with "R." Preferrabley. I mean, should the relationship end in marriage, she'll have less of a shock when her name changes.

Find me a woman people!