The poison that is post-modern architecture

For those unawares, the Guthrie Theater is moving to a new location, with a new facility to boot. My beef is not with the move (it's actually moving closer to where I live), rather with the new building. There are so many words that can be used to describe the noveau structure..."crap," "eye-sore," "monstrosity," "piece of garbage ," etc.

Why do I hate it so? Because it is yet another hideous post-modern style building. You all know how I feel about pomo architecture; as soon as I get the power, there will be a righteous crusade to wipe out most of it. That's right, see in you hell Walker Art Center, Weisman Art Musuem, new Guthrie, and ugly piece of metal near the Alumni Center. Seriously, post-modern architecture has to be modeled on vomit...here's how a conversation between two architects must go:

"Hey Bob"
"Hi Dave, how was your weekend?"
"Oh man, I had the worst hangover EVER. I was puking my guts out every 10 minutes"
"Bummer."
"Yeah, but at least it inspired me. I just imagined my puke in metal form and BOOM! A new design!"
"Radical! Did you make any sketches??"
"You bet I did!"

Or something to that effect. And if not, then all they do is steal hand-drawn pictures done by kindergartners.

A distinct lack of funny

Oh dear readers, I have failed you! There have been far too few updates (many of them humorless), and for this I apologize. In desperation, since I couldn't tickle your funny bones, I was tempted to trigger your gag reflexes, but decided against it. You don't even want to know what I was going to post...

So back to the norm; posting on girls and whatnot. A part of me wants to go to the Rennaisance Festival, find me a nice wench, and have a grande ole tyme [note the use of old word usage and spelling]. But, I don't think I'll get around to it.

Let's see, what else, what else...Oh! Found out about facial toner, saw the Twins lose, and realized that I need to get books, supplies, and clothes for this coming semester.

Speaking of realizations, why is it that they always seem to come at night (for me at least)? Or more specifically, when I'm right about to fall asleep. Take last night for instance; I was hit with this brilliant revelation about self-induced pain and wallowing in pride/self-pity in Dostoevsky novels (side note; Jordan, I found Crime and Punishment and Brothers K, you can borrow them now), and alas, I've forgotten it. Or rather, the eloquence of it. But here goes (the writing in italics denotes sections of my ideas that I've forgotten):

Oh my word...it seems that I've forgotten already. How embarassing. Well, the point was that these characters e.g. Raskolnikov, the Underground Man, etc. can only overcome these problems is by rejecting these un-Christian things. Or rather, that they must exemplify the Christian ideals of humility, meekness, etc. I know all that's rather weak and elementary, but believe you me, what came to me last night was sheer BRILLIANCE. I regret not getting up at 1 AM and cranking out a paper on it.

TTFN all.

[for those of you who didn't watch "Winnie the Pooh," that means "ta-ta for now"]

Frustration to the 10000000th power

Do you know what it feels like when all you want to do is read and study about Calvinism and Rapture theology, yet your encyclopedias are unaccessible? Bloody frustrating.

Plus, it doesn't help that there's nothing good on TV, and there's no other books that have caught your eye. Could it get worse? You betcha. The icing to this oh so bitter cake is that you can't find your remote for the DVD player, thus being unable to switch from full-screen format to wide-screen, which in turn ruins your movie viewing experience. Truely, life is almost unbearable under these circumstances.

*deep breath*

Oh, and to all the TV networks that cut off the last 5 minutes of a show just to say that "in a few mintues, we'll have the actual news regarding [insert event]...," I have this to say:

YOU BASTARDS! JUST WAIT TILL THE SHOW IS OVER AND THEN CUT TO THE NEWSROOM WHEN YOU, OH, I DON'T KNOW, ACTUALLY HAVE THE FREAKING NEWS!"

Ah...very cathartic.

But another note, I've been trying to nail down my scent. That's right, I'm trying to find the right adjectives to describe how I smell. And I think I have. Pepperoni on freshly baked subway bread. Or in layman's terms, meaty and doughy at the same time. Tell me readers, how do you smell [to yourself]?

"The Balance" (notice: quasi-serious post)

Whilst (that's right, "whilst") thinking about movies, I've noticed that a lot of films have been using the "there's a balance between good and evil" motif. It's a nice little tool; evil sets out to tip the balance, and a hero (perhaps jaded if the filmmakers are looking for a rebel [anti-] hero) arrives to save the day. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the concept of "the balance" really doesn't make sense. Here's my reasoning:

First of all, how do you define "balance?" Is it strictly a one-for-one basis? As in, your father dies, but a child is born to you. If not, how then would you weigh good and bad things? Does a refreshing glass of lemonade erase the anguish of failing a test? And if it more than counter-balanced that negativity, would you then have to spill your drink? Now if you think I'm being too nit-picky, you just found out another flaw; that being how strict is the balance? Does the balance only apply to the greater good of all or is each individual taken into account?

Next, can anyone honestly say that there's "too much good in the world?" You'd have to be insane to say, "You know, things are too good. I want something REALLY nasty to happen to me to keep things even." Anybody who did complain about there being too much good must be evil anyways.

Moving to the last point, a balance would not make sense for good or evil (I've personified the two in the following lines fyi). Why would a balance be appealing to evil? It is not in the nature of evil to have any kind of equality with good, and promising to not overstep "their" bounds is contradictory to evil's nature. Conversely, being good calls for the prevention/eradication of evil, so good would by nature have to act if "it" saw something unjust occurring.

I realize that might be pretty boring to a lot of people (heck, I might even agree), but it was one my philosophical moments, and I felt like sharing.

Oh! One last thing! I recently saw "Bram Stoker's Dracula;" the one made by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Gary Oldman, Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, and Anthony Hopkins. It was decent, but a lot of stuff bugged me, so if I were to rate it, I’d give it a B-. But I digress. The one main thing that bugged me is that a lot of people (and I don't know if this was Coppola intended this or not) have interpreted the ending as love redeeming Dracula (and Mina), as opposed to faith/God/religion, etc. This bugs me for at least two reasons. One, it's stating that God can be supplanted, and two, it implies that God and/or religion are without love, mercy, etc. Obviously this is not true, but Hollywood has been quite busy secularizing any kind of myth (ever notice that in these new films, vampires are still weak to sunlight, silver, and garlic, but not crucifixes or holy water?). Perhaps more on that later.

The only thing that took my mind off of that was how horribly innacurate the new "King Arthur" (starring Clive Owen and Keira Knightley) was. I wrent my garments on the inside.

Two Glorious Decades for Planet Earth

Nigh on 20 years ago, on August 3rd, 1985, I and my brother were born. Thus, despite Evil's plans for destroying the world, things have been pretty well; I am a beacon of light to those who are searching for hope.

....

Ok, I admit, that's laying it on a bit thick. But yes, I did turn 20 last Wednesday. This birthday was a bit different than ones past. Why? Because I (and my brother again) went out of town that very day, heading for Grand Marais. The reason? The Fisherman's Picnic! But that is another tale...

The point of this tale is to write of my gifts. Sort of. Aside from a most generous monetary gift from my aunt and uncle, I got received not one, not two, but THREE leather-bound (not just hardcover too cultured readers!) Charles Dicken's books! Oh, most glorious! My library grows, and I am most pleased. See, not that I have anything against soft-cover, but one of my goals in life is to have a nice quasi-classy library. As it stands, I now have some Dickens, some Hemingway, and some Faulkner in leather/hard cover. That's right, I'm trying to ooze classiness.

Anyone who feels bad about not getting me a present, feel free to buy me one anyways; I won't mind.

Preface to blogness (and other "sort of" ryhmes)

Yes, I have returned. I am getting my thoughts in order, in order to blog. All I ask is patience.

And ideas too.

Until then, adieu.