summer goals

Oooh! Two posts! Sadly folks, your funny bones ain't gonna be tickled by this one. But meh.

So, what are said goals? Here they are:

1. Play tennis. LOTS of tennis. Tennis rocks, and this goal is easily attainable as me, my bro, and a friend all play together, so it's gonna be awesome. Actually, this is what I want a girlfriend for; to play tennis. Forget movies and dinners; the court is where it's at.

2. Play baseball. See above, minus the girlfriend (just don't fit for some reason).

3. Get more in shape. I know what you're all thinking, but let me make it clear; I was not born with this magnificent body. AND I want to make it more magnificent. So, more push ups, sit ups, and the like. Plus, there's an Open House coming up at the end of June that I've been invited to. There's gonna be a pool there. Must...look...GOOD!

4. Increase my intelligence. Yeah, I got a lot of reading to do.

5. Chill. As in, control myself. Decrease the amount of inner turmoil and constant moving while talking, and hey, I'll be good. I'll try and cut out most of those weird "personality"questions e.g. "What Shakespeare character do you think I'm most like," but there'll probably be the occasional one.

6. Learn more life skills around the house. Odd I know. But I really should be learning to cook more, fix more things, help out my parents (especially my dear mum) more.

7. be nicer/more Christ like.

8. come up with more goals. There's a lot of stuff that I want to figure out; what I want to do with my life, finances, traveling, etc. And yeah, I should think things out.

Wish me luck!

Quality time with the sense of smell

Today was your typical day, but with a twist. After arising from slumber, showering, and eating, I started to get dressed. Now before donning a t-shirt, I of course applied deodorant. What a surprising sensation I felt! Pain! That's right ladies and gents, my deodorant stick was down to its last few swipes. The normal smooth sensation of the blue-green bar was replaced by the scraping pain caused by the cold white plastic beneath. Fortunatley, there was enough to get me through the day. But you know what this meant? Deodorant shopping!

Thing is folks, deodorant shopping is something that I enjoy. Doesn't happen all that often because deodorant sticks do last awhile. But then when it's time to buy a new one, there's something magical about it! All the different brands with different names and looks; how is one to chose? Does one keep with a tried and true scent, or go for something exotic and new? Should one perhaps go with a spray instead of the normal stick? Decisions, decisions.

So, off I went (well, much later in the day, but hey). I hit up Target; they do the trick. While I was able to find some (I'll go into details shortly), I am saddened by the fact that the variety of deodorants has sharply decreased at Target. I remember a ton of choices of flavo--I mean scents, but was greeted by a reduced number of said products. Nevertheless, a sniffing I went.

First off, I ruled out anti-persperants. Always have, always will. Why? Sweating is a healthy and normal function, and I don't want to mess with it; I just want to control the stink. Plus, I've known people who've had bad reactions with anti-persperants, and don't want to experience them myself. This tragically ruled out the Axe-effect products. Now yes, I've seen the commercials where hot women swarm guys wearing Axe, but I do kind of like the smells. Plus the drawings they have on their sticks; they look so cool! But, it was not to be.

Oh, sprays are also out. They just don't do it for me.

Gels? Hmm. I've tried those before, and they're kind of neat. But nah, really not my style.

Then came the big choices. Do I go with Speed Stick or Old Spice? My preferred scent is "Ocean Surf" by Speed Stick; I see it as the Blue Raspberry of deodorants. But...perhaps something new? Side note, I never just go with the plain, old boring smells; no "regular," "fresh," "active," etc. labelings. It has to catch my eye with a snazzy name [and smell]! That said, Old Spice has lately been by deodorant of choice; they have the coolest names/smells (with the possible exception of Axe, but again, anti-persperants are a no no). So, looks like it was going to be some form of Old Spice!

Lately, I've been using "metallic ice." Rather mild, its smell almost reminds me of bee's-wax. But, with the exception of "Ocean surf," I never buy the same deodorant twice in a row, so that's out. "Mountain rush," slightly stronger than "ice" but with a hint of mint in it was an option; but that's what my brother has at the moment so I ruled that one out. "Aqua reef?" Not too bad, but it didn't really grab my nose in the way that I thought it would.

In the end, I went with "Pacific surge." I liked the name, and its fruity scent sealed the deal. I at first had my misgivings; it was labeled a "new scent," and since I wish to be counter-culture in my deodorant use, almost didn't buy it. But I figured heck, I was just being silly, and no one comments on deodorant anways, so I might as well buy it.

Tomorrow, when I rise and meet the world, I'm going to smell good doing it!

Delusional Advertising

You know what makes me laugh, cry, and bitter all at the same time?

Ads for selling your books back.

In said ads, there's usually a hand there clutching [in a manly and cool way] a dozen or so $100 bills. Accompanying that image is some slogan along the lines of "be awesome like this guy and sell your books back! You'll get so much money, you can use it for toilet paper! Righteous!"

The harsh reality is that in order to get that amount of money back, you'd have to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on text books in the first place. Or resort to a life of crime and jack as many Bio or Psych 1001 text books as you can. See a guy sleeping in your lecture? Take a seat next to him sometime, maybe even talk to him to establish a bond of trust, and when he starts snoozin', take his book! Repeat.

Option B is hit as many parties as you can, escort drunk people back to their dwellings, and then rifle through their stuff until you hit the jackpot.

Remember my little social deviants, it's the quality of the book, not the quantity that counts. Take me for example. If some hot babe gets me trashed (actually, she'd have to have a killer personality more so than looks; I think I'd be too paranoid if a major cutie was trying to get me drunk**), and then brings me home (kudos to her for bringing me up from the U), she'll be sadly disapointed in her haul if she thinks the number of books count. Why? True, as an English major, I have tons of book; usually have to get around 15 per class. What's the catch? They cost about $7 to begin with, and given that the reading list practically always changes for those English courses, she'd get even less money.

In sum, I'd like to see a more truthful ad. For example, it could show a "Before & After" picture. A happy young student runs in his old text books, perhaps with a little thought bubble saying, "wow, Calculus was fun, but now I can't wait to get my $80 for this book!" Actually, if I'm going for the more realistic style, the thought bubble would be more like "Calc sucked! But hey, C's get degrees. At least I'll get my money back." Then the after image would have the student with a dumbfounded [or angry or disgruntled] look, holding a $10 bill, with slogan along the lines of "Oh! It's a screw isn't it, chump?" or "Didn't see that one coming now did ya?" or "If you think you'll get a fair price, you're living in a fantasy world."

Now, that may or may not help return sales. But then again, does the bookstore really want people to return their books? They'd most likely be content to turn to crime as well; hire some goons to blackjack people coming out of Finals and taking the books back by force. Oh man, it could be like 1920's Chicago! The corrupt officials [the bookstore] versus the mob [some powerful students who are using the technicques I described], with the poor students caught in between. Note to self, develop this idea...

So how to avoid the agony and sense of betrayl when trying to earn a few extra bucks? Sell only the crap books back. Tragically, only students of the liberal art nature can do this; you sciences are basically stuck with your stuff. Again using my self as a case study, I had to buy around oh, 20 books for Amer Lit 1001 (horrible class, with the exception of the questions which I've kept and will probably use once I'm a teacher). About half were the typical late 2oth Century post-modernist, politically correct, leftist, yadda yadda yadda worthless books that I was never going to read. Back to the bookstore I went. $80 worth of books; $17 back. Ouch. But still, since I had formed no attachment [yet alone read] those texts, I was fine in a minute or so, when I used my newly acquired funds to buy a slushy.

And in the end, that's all that counts; happiness comes in the form of frozen beverages.

**my reasoning for my paranoia is as follows:
I've seen enough movies to know that the only reason why a super babe would interested in me would be because she was either a). a con-woman trying to get all my money, b.) a space alien who wants to devour me, or both in rare instances.

Existential dilemma #142: Success

Breaking from the norm, this is a quasi-serious post. You've been notified. For those that know me, this isn't that big of a shock; I get slammed with bouts of inner-reflection/ponderance/doubt/sadness, etc. quite periodically (the problem number is purely arbitrary fyi).

Anywho, my sister came home yesterday with her new yearbook in tow (those non-collegiate students are still sadly in school). I glanced it over, and I got to thinking (as I usually do). What about? My own personal success and impact on this world.

See, I started to ponder if I'm on the right track, or that I'm not squandering my gifts and talents. Looking back at high school (and life in general), or rather the point where I entered college, I [in the present] thought about all my options. Not to sound arrogant or cocky, but I was an exceptional student, and it's not just that I knew what to do to get an "A," I KNEW my stuff. I was tempted to go into any field; teaching, science (aerospace engineering, scientist, etc), law system (FBI, lawyer, judge, etc.), medicine, politics even (well, not really...but it was a thought). Heck, I even saw a route in the military.

To compound things, I also got to thinking about whether I could have "done more" or "been more involved." Or even just tried harder. I know people who have been exposed to great opportunities due to their interest and passion in a particular cause/interest, and I wonder if I somehow could achieve (or could have achieved) something like that too.

Now of course, I already thought of other factors/points related this. For example, I still have my whole life ahead of me. I don't want to "peak"too early and then live a life of obscurity. While everyone says that the college days are the best years of your life (which I agree with in someways), there has to be more to life than just a small 4 or 5 year slot.

That said, other things also came up. On the one hand, I took into account my financial situation. It's obvious that I miss out on some stuff because neither me nor my family has the money to do it. I don't begrudge rich people at all, and I do realize that there's more to life than cash. But still, the thought of financial security gnaws at me.

And one can't discount the people factor. Do I want fame? Maybe. I do care about what people think, and use/ask for others' opinions. Why? Well, I think they see something I can't. Or rather, I need to see myself through someone else's lense to learn something about myself. Yet at the same time, I also realize that most of the time, it doesn't matter what other people think. I've told that to numerous people who struggle with their own questions, and I do truely believe it. It's my own weakness [vanity] that causes me to slip.

Building on that, and begining to answer my own question I guess, people seem to generally think I'm doing alright. Going back to high school days, when discussing the future with classmates, they said they could see me as a teacher, or successful in whatever I did. AND nobody hated me; lots of compliments on the personality (again, not going on an ego-trip).

So the big, overarching topic is "will the path I'm forging now lead to fame and fortune? Will I be remembered in history books or the hearts of men? Does it matter which one?" Not surprisingly, the answer lies in theology; striving to be like Christ is all that matters and only in Christ can salvation be gained. The tough part, and my own problem, is keeping that in mind.

Wow, deep stuff. I think. To me at least. I didn't really plan this post out; there may or may not be edits. I may even delete it (too personal perhaps, poorly written most likely, etc). Yeah, that's all.

Night in the Land of Elysium (part 1?)

Nothing quite like an end of the year party with close friends, is there? Last night happened to be just that, and there was much revelry and fun to be had for all. So, where to begin...?

*Note: I have withheld names and identities due to soon-to-be-obvious reasons. However, most of you read this will know who I'm talking about anyway*

To begin with, the ride over to Monsieur D***'s house (our host for the evening) was pleasant; me and my bro cruising while listening to Weezer. I think my trendy Hawaiin shirt (black and dark brown with pineapples as decoration) added to the atmoshpere too.

We arrived, and there was a little bit of downtime before the grand festivites began i.e. chatting, pool, snacking, etc. When we all had gathered into the kitchen when two friends began a tale; a tale of treachery and deceit. Before I go into details, I just want to make the comment that the presentation of said story was sub-par; I could have so told it better. Now, on to the details. These two friends, a boy and a girl, who are going out, apparantly did not start off that way. As it turned out, their "dating" was just a hoax! A trick! Tom-foolery! That's right gentle readers; two of my (and yours) closest friends were deceiving me (and you)! But, it is all good; they are officially going out. I am debating whether or not to plan some sort of revenge....but probably not. After all, what started as trick ended up as I (and a few others) had forseen.

After this, or rather while it was going on, the wine started to be uncorked. Sweet innocent readers, I shall be blunt; there were alcoholic beverages present. Aside from various kinds of wine, there was a plentiful variety of beers, vodka, and miscellaneous liquids. However, no evil arose from it, so all is well. In addition, there was plent of non-alcoholic drinks, as well as water and snacks. Now, here's Adam's opinion on what I tried (in mostly chronological order), so YOU can learn too:

1. Leinschwghlkhlazk (some beer; it was a lager and a "light" one too): bad, I didn't even finish the bottle.

2. a shot of whiskey ("quality" no less): extremely unpleasant. It didn't burn, but it obliterated any molecule of sweet/pleasant taste in my mouth.

3. Arbor Mist wine: ah, nectar of the gods I am sure! Third on the list, but first in my heart! I had a good number of glasses of this fine tasting wine throughout the night. It did start to not taste so pleasant towards the end, but hey.

4. various wines e.g. Fat Bastard, and some other stuff with French or Spanish names: the Fat Bastard was bad, not a fan. Some of the other stuff was pretty good, but again, nothing could touch the Arbor Mist.

5. a mohito (bacardi, water, lime, or something along those lines): not too bad. While I did like the lemon-limeyness, the bacardi really didn't do it for me.

6. Guiness: oy, not good. I was told by one of my friends that drinking Guiness is like drinking bread. Well to me, that "bread" must be moldy and have gone stale. My apologies to the one friend who I promised I'd drink a bottle in honor of him (I had help finishing mine).

7. a shot of vodka: ach! vile! VILE! V-I-L-E! I did make it worse on myself; I couldn't down my shot (felt like gaggging) so I held it in my mouth. Compounded with the fact that one of my friends made sure I had a bigger-than-normal dose, I was pretty miserable for quite some time. I managed to get it down (I contemplated spewing it, but got it down), but yeah, a terrible and scarring experience. After swallowing, I drank a bunch of water and munched on pretzels/chips for a long time.

*Adam is at his most "tipsy-ness" at this point. I felt happy, dizzy, extremely tired, and this was also evidenced by the fact that I dropped my can of pop, my Guiness, hit the railing while going up stairs, and having a sort of difficult time reading stuff. Really wasn't drunk, but slightly buzzed.

8. a pleasant conglomerate of root-beer, milk, lots of ice, and a tiny bit of cognac: good, although the cognac kind of ruined the taste for me

9. a bit of apple vodka: not as horrid as the vodka before, but still horrid

10. a glass of Sangria: quite good...perhaps better than the Arbor Mist but to be honest, I can't quite remember.

In sum, all beers equal bad. Hard liquor equals bad. About half of wines equal bad. Sweeter wines like Arbor Mist and stuff along the lines of Sangria equal good.

Side note, I was told to "chug things" or "drink it all, you'll get used to it" but I disregarded that. Drinking a lot of something that makes me want to spit it out anyways will not make me appreciate it more.

Conversations with all party-goers was undeniably excellent.

Now, SOME friends had a wee bit too much to drink. Which is alright; it wasn't extreme. One friend bowed down and worshiped the porcelain god today, and that was humorous. VERY humorous. Mad props to myself for no hangover (given that I wasn't drunk, not surprising).

And that's all I can think of right now. It was seriously a great time, and it's nice to just kick back and relax with good company.

*yawn* BORED

Gah, not much going on. I had SOME funny ideas, but they died. I couldn't do nuthin' to save 'em. Nothing!

Basically, I'm bored. Maybe it's the whole readjusting to not having school, but it's a rough transition. True, I am helping out at another high school (which I do enjoy) and I am working (which I quasi-enjoy), yet I feel like so "bleh."

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Until some burst of inspiration happens, you, dear readers, are going to be stuck reading crap. For this I apologize.

3 Aces baby yeah!

Today is a good day. Why? Well, just found out my grades for three out of my four classes. Can you guess what they were? All "A's."

That's right mortals! Embrace my feet!

Now, I realize a few of my readers are IT students, whom I also realize will probably give me some lip cause I'm in CLA. To them (and anyone else who thinks themselves vastly superior to me because I am an English major) I say:

"Cry me a river."

In all seriousness, I know grades do not make the man, and I hope for the best for all of you [students] who read this.

Excuse me while I go and do the "peanut-butter jelly dance."
(http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/peanutbutter.html)

New teaching experience

Quick little update, I am going to be getting some more hours done for my teaching experience. I'll be helping out at St. Anthony High School, and I'm a TA for some World History courses. I sadly won't be getting a chance to actually teach, but I'll be correcting work and helping out when I can, so it is not a total loss. Plus, I can always (hopefully) interject little, unknown facts about certain subjects.

Oh, my goals from the previous post, viewing Sin City and Kingdom of Heaven were accomplished! Two days ago, my brother and I went to view the former, with a little bit of excitement on the highway (I cut over like 3 lanes...twice). But, we arrived safe and sound. The movie was very cool, although a bit violent. Who am I kidding; it wasn't "a bit," it was A LOT. But still, interesting story, cool cinematography, good characters, etc. Last night, it was Kingdom's time. Same duo, except add on another friend, so it was a trio. Not a bad movie; I think Gladiator was better though. Some of the messages irked me; the whole "oh, we're really all just the same and religion is bad blah blah blah." I mean, you can make those points, but I'm sick of seing these epic movies where the main characters are clearly thinking/speaking with a 21st Century mindset. I wish I could elaborate on that more; I guess it's something that I feel and can tell rather than explain.

Biggest news! School is done! Had my one and only final on Friday in Dostoevsky; good vibes from it. For the last essay, one of the options was to outline a Dostoevskian like story; I started too but couldn't bring it together so I wrote on "doubling." For those interested in knowing (even if you're NOT, you're gonna have to read it anyways), the plot was going to revolve around some college students. Well, one student, whom I named Kevin, was interested in becoming the "student-teacher;" being sick of the "Teacher-student." How does one achieve this position? Fail a Final.

p.s. If you haven't read "The Possessed" aka "Demons" aka "Devils," the humor of that is going to be lost on you.

p.p.s. I was going to call the story "Tests and Grades." Can you guess the connection??!!

Finally, I did something today that I have not done in a long time; slept until noon.

Regretably, I have nothing funny to add. Pity.

I call for a jihad against Spyware!

Brothers and sisters!

Our world has been tainted with the demon filth that is spyware! It corrupts your computers and causes your blessed internet to run slow! Pop-ups come out of nowhere! The spyware itself, cunning hell-spawn that it is, knows of ways to survive and reinstall itself into your system!
IT MUST BE DESTROYED!!!!

His imperial majesty,
Adam I


Seriously, who had the bright idea to invent spyware? Has that person ever experienced the frustration of having to remove all those annoying programs and wept bitter tears?

As you might have guessed, I waged a holy war yesterday against some spyware which had invaded my computer. Oh, it was a vicious fight indeed brethren! Ad-aware scan after ad-aware scan gradually got rid of things, as did removing the suckers by hand with add/remove programs. What finished the fight was the arrival of my brother, with his powerful force of computer knowledge. Plunging into the registry itself, the scum that is spyware was finally vanquished...or was it? The cost of the fight was steep; though I have recently acquired Mozilla Firefox, the tiny hamlet of Internet Explorer has not fully recovered and will not return to its normal size. And admittedly, I do not know if my computer is completley purged of the evil programs, as there will be the occasional oddity i.e. pop-up; but I have hope. The vast bulk of the spyware army perished, and it will be many ages before there is ever an invasion of that magnitude again. Moreover, my subjects are perfectly willing to undergo a format reinstall in order to attain complete and undeniable victory.

That's right spyware, I'll see you in hell.

Blogger's block

Since it's almost been a week since my last posting, and since I'm scathingly critical of anyone who doesn't update a lot (voyerism is not something I'm proud of, but at least it is limited to blogs), I'm throwing one in. Good news? People like me will be happy with something new to read. Bad news? Nothing really oustanding/funny/exciting to tell.

So, at the moment, I've just finished my American Lit paper...I expect it'll be published in some literary magazine. Seriously.

....

I'm kidding, it won't be published unless it is somehow mind-blowingly better than what I take it to be.

On a completely random side note, there's something about mallard ducks and female ducks (don't know if they have some cool name) and ducklings that makes me happy. It's like the ideal family unit. The way the mallard leads and will fly away to distract predators so the female (who will also fly away if necessary too) and ducklings can hide is really noble. I actually saw a dead mallard a few days ago on the highway, and a part of me was really sad.

Second random point but connected to the one above:
when it comes to romance/relationships, girls have a terrible ability to see things that guys can't. It's freaky. So, what's a guy to do? Be ludicrously cautious whenever discussing anything remotely romantic. Everything matters; voice tone, body language, word choice, pheremones, subconscious thoughts, etc. A girl can detect it all. Now I've always thought that I can outwit and outsmart any girl, but this is one dance that I can be out-tangoed in.

Finally, I'd just like to add that I hate spiders in my shower. Truely, I do. I smash them good when I find them. Actually, not that I fear spiders, but after dispatching them with a kleenex, I always toss their tissue-covered corpses in the toilet and flush. Why? I have this odd fear that I really didn't crush them good enough and that they'll come back to life and kill me. Hence, the watery burial ensures that that doesn't happen. An odd fear I know.

But no less weird than my fear of finding a booger in my milk.

There's no story behind that story, just a fear I've always had for a long long time.

Movies to see:
Sin City (which is hardly playing ANYWHERE)
Kingdom of Heaven

"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
~Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

Return of the Prodigal Beef-eater

For lunch today, I decided to return to a place that I have not eaten for quite some time. The place was Arby's, the food was a LARGE roast beef sandwich. Oh man, what a meal!

To begin with, I got done with work at noon, and feeling a bit peckish and of course not wanting to go until 5 without eating anything (due to class), I desired something meaty yet quick. "So where to go?" I asked myself. The Bona? Ate there yesterday. Manhattan Loft? Too cheap and really not in the mood. Burger King? Ate there yesterday and sick of that style of food. Big 10? Not feeling adventerous. Arby's? Ooooh, that's the ticket. So with the giant fluorescent cowboy hat as a marker, I trucked over to Arby's.

I approached the counter after a minute's perusal of the menu and just went with a large roast beef. When asked if I "wanted the combo" I politely declined; I'm so sick of fries and Coke products. Plus, I wanted to save cash. Well, my sandwich was ready in a matter of moments, and I journeyed over to the condiments to get Arby's sauce; the nectar of the gods. I grabbed those little containers and filled not one, not two, but three of those little cups with the oh so delicious sauce and found myself a table. Let me tell ya friends, that sandwich WAS big; and I slathered that sucker with the tastey. When I picked up the sandwich and took that first bite, wow, I was in heaven. It tasted so good! The sandwich was so packed with beef that a bit of it shot out the sides of the bread (where the was no pressure from either my hands or my mouth) but it didn't fall. Fortunately, it [the beef] remained attached the mother-sandwich, and so I gobbled up the extra beef. The sauce, oh the sauce. It went everywhere! Over my sandwich, my fingers, hands, mouth, chin, and subsequently, my beard. But that's alright, a part of me was glad; I hoped that my pores would absorb it and thus even more Arby's sauce would enter my system. I didn't mind that I was making a mess of things, I was just too happy.

After the sandwich was safely in my belly, I wiped off my hands and face, and went in search of a quiet place to read "Titus Andronichus" by Shakespeare. I did actually stop in a bathroom to thoroughly wash my hands and make sure there was no food/sauce residue on my visage (there wasn't). But yes, nothing like gorging yourself on delicious meat products after 7-8 weeks of fasting (I do prefer of course the Paschal meats that we have at home, but still, you get the point).

In other news, I got an "A" in Humanities 1001! Huzzah! 1 class down, 3 to go.

On that note, I'm actually thinking about maybe teaching history now instead of English...such a dilemma. Both are cool subjects, but I'm a little undecided now. I can always double major and get teaching certified in both, but that'll take a lot of time, and I'm not sure I want to do that. So yeah, my future hangs in the balance...

Amazed and blown away (in multiple areas of life)

Wow....what can I say?

To start things off, Christ is Risen! Pascha is truely one of the best times of the year; all the services during Holy Week topped off by the incredible midnight service Holy Saturday night and joyous vesper service on Pascha itself, followed of course by the feasting with friends and family...words can't describe it. One quick note on Pascha; me and Dusty got to carry banners for the procession...it was really cool actually.

And today, the much awaited and mind-blowingly good concert performed by Weezer really made me feel good. Every single song rocked!. Even the warm up band was quite good. But I honestly can't remember their songs cause Weezer's awesomeness just dominated.

But now friends, I am starting to feel slightly stressed. My homework load is staggering, so things have the potential to go downhill EXTREMELY fast. However, I remain optomistic and oddly serene about it all.

There was something else I was going to write, but I forgot. Meh.

Stay tuned readers!