I miss....TV

Yeah, as I sit here, I've just been lamenting the fact "Boston Legal" hasn't been on for awhile. Twas a great. It hasn't been cancelled, but it won't be on again until the new TV season starts.

Pity.

too stunned to talk (but not to blog!)

Just heard something interesting on the radio. And now here's the link to the story:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8331097/

Apparently, the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that it's alright for local government to seize and bulldoze houses in order to put up private establishments e.g. malls. Why? Because through private establishments, the city can of course get more money by taxes.

So, it's explicitly outlined in the Constitution that the Government can't make you quarter soldiers in your home, but now your house can just obliterated in order to make way for the new shopping mall. Sick.

And people wonder why no one respects the legal system?

Frying myself

Ye gods it's hot today! I first knew this when, after arising from sleep, I went to take my morning shower (in this case, my late-morning-almost-noon shower). Now I opened up the little window tht we have in the shower to catch a breeze, and instead of feeling a cool refreshing wind, I was blasted in the face with a scorching gust of air. This filled me with a sense of foreboding.

After the shower, I went and checked the temperature. 80 degrees. And rising (currently it's 91). These temps are in Faranheit too, fyi for my foreign readers.

Needless to say, this high temp has put a crimp on my plans. I WAS supposed to play tennis with my bro and a friend, but none of us feel like putting ourselves through such agony. We MIGHT play catch later tonight, but that's a big "might" (and it literally is bigger; get it??!!).

So what have I done. Aside from staying in my pleasantly air-conditioned house, I actually went outside to tan. That's right ivory-skinned readers, I went tanning. Now as a side note, I have some issues with tanning. Firstly, I don't do it that much. If I get tan, it's because I'm outside doing some kind of activity i.e. mowing, playing tennis, swimming etc., so the idea of just laying out there is not the most familiar for me. But as you can see [and read], I break this on occasion. Second, I'm aware of the dangers of tanning. That said, I'm not all that impressed with the uber tan girls that many of us see (and oggle; but that's mainly me and fellow-aged young men); not to be shallow, but I'm not interested in someone who's going to look like shoe leather in 15 years. Which ties in my other point about hating tanning salons. If a girl is really tan, and achieved it naturellement, then I'm cool with that. But if it's artificial...well...I won't NOT date them, but I might bring it up.

Ok, back to me. So yes, I did something slightly out of the ordinary and laid outside in the sun. It was both nice and disturbing at the same time. Nice cause, well, I was outside and I liked it. I'll probably do it again. Disturbing because I sweated A LOT. Maybe "disturbing" is a bad word, but seriously folks, I was coated in sweat. It tickled, but was also nasty. But then I doused myself off with a hose and it was one of the best feelings of my life.

Then I went inside and worked out. If I'm gonna be tan, I might as well be toned as well. Plus, this experience made me two things:

1. Boy am I glad I'm clean shaven now
2. I like the quasi-shaggy hair that I have now, but a haircut is on the way

So enjoy a cold one readers! And by that I mean pop or juice; no booze.

One last thing, I really should work on reading over summer, but I just haven't been able to do it. Hopefully I can overcome!

Dawn of a new superhero

Saw "Batman Begins" yesterday.

Oh. My. Goodness.

IT ROCKED!

That said, I think I'm going to try and be a superhero.

Step 1: Get incredibley buff
That's right; time for lots of push-ups and sit-ups (which I've kind of already been doing). Hit a snag last night though; I was doing pushups and after 0nly about 4-5, my wrist started hurting like crazy. Bummer. I think I might have twisted it somehow either playing tennis or shelving a un-godly amount of books lately, because I was doing 20-30 push-ups a day last week. Guess it's my abs that'll get all the treatment!

Speaking of push-ups, I have an off-beat story to tell. Last week, when I was about to begin my regime, I noticed that there was a saw on the floor (I was downstairs mind you, and we've been finishing up a new room down there). Taking the saw, I set it up so the razor sharp teeth were pointing up, and positioned myself above it. Thus, I was ready to go into EXTREME work-out mode! But then I decided I was being rather foolish and moved the saw.

Step 2: Come up with name
Every superhero has a radical and cool name; I must be no exception. So, what's it to be? Now in "Batman Begins," Bruce Wayne chooses the bat because that's what scared him as a kid, and he wants to transfer that fear to criminals. Problem with that approach; for me at least. I'm not really scared of things, but rather ideas and relationships and what not. Somehow I figure "Obsessive Man" or "Exisstential Worry Boy," or just "The Rejection" will not strike terror in the hearts of evil men (and women; children too in some cases). Admittedly, I thought of a cool line to say if I go with the last of those names. I'd be fighting a bad guy on a roof, and then when one of my punches (or kicks) almost sends him off the roof, I grab him and say, "Rejection sucks, but at least you can always count on gravity." And then I drop him.

...

Ok, that needs tweaking I know. But the lines and theatrics can come after I actually pick a name.

Step 3: Find a suitable job/lifestyle that can accomodate my crime fighting second life
This is tricky. Obviously, rent must be paid and food must be bought. So what's a protector of all that's good in the world to do? My dream of teaching is probably no good; too time consuming. Hmm...what else? Well, I could always, oh, use the money I capture from criminals to support me. Yes, this is a doozy.

There's probably a lot more I'm not taking into consideration, but when I do...just know you can sleep safer at night innocent readers!

the love monster! it's behind you!

After reading many posts by Dusty and Nicki about the unexpectedness of love, a new mental image of that feeling has formed in my mind. Love is a scary, vicious creature that hides in darkened nooks and cranies, waits for you to turn your back, and then slices, dices, and eats you alive.

This beast must stopped.

random girl stuff

The other day, when I was heading to another library for work to photocopy a journal, I saw a girl outside the building which I was supposed to enter. For some reason, I felt like approaching her and asking if she wanted to make out. But I didn't. Besides, she was smoking (kind of a turnoff), and wasn't attractive as close up as I thought she was.

Just as a side note, the woman in "Oprah's weight loss secret" ad is HOT.

Stereotypical male sexism aside, here some things I'm interested in the female gender:

1. Brunette. Truthfully, I'm not picky (the woman in Oprah's ad is blonde), but I do prefer dark haired gals.

2. Must hate "The Simple Life" TV show starring Paris Hilton and Nichole Richie. This is a relationship breaker right here. If she likes it, it's over.

3. Will play tennis. Ok, I might be flexible on this; a lot of girls may not want to play and I can handle that. Really I can. But it's summer, and it'd be GREAT if she was willing to play.

4. Smart, funny, nice. The usual. People say opposites attract, but I disagree;no one's ever said "I want to go out with a mean, selfish jerk" (because I'm an idealist and believe most people out there are good-hearted)

5. I want a girl who will laugh for no one else. When I'm away, she puts the makeup on the shelf. When I'm away she never leaves the house. I want a girl who will laugh for no one else.
...
Ok, I don't actually believe in #5, but if you can guess where I got those lines from, I'll...err..well...you can just feel good about yourself!

6. Her last name starts with "R." Preferrabley. I mean, should the relationship end in marriage, she'll have less of a shock when her name changes.

Find me a woman people!

blah blah blah work

Work today, as usual. Now don't get me wrong, I like working at the Forestry Library and I like the people, but lately, I've just not been caring as much. For example, I've REALLY been taking my time shelving. Like, my record is 3 minutes to shelve one book. If you knew how small the library is, you'd be impressed. Or sickened. Don't get me wrong, I always keep myself busy and ask for more work, but sometimes, at the end of the day when I have 15 minutes left and nothing to do but shelve, a man's just got to take it at his own pace. Incredibely slow that is.

While I do prefer working for North Central (the Forest Service people), even that can be a drag.
Know what makes working for them worse? The fact that it's Tuesday. Normally, I just work in the afternoons (others work in the morning), but Wednesday I'm there all day. So that means I can't shunt aside work and let someone else do it, cause I know I'm just going to be there the very next day and will have to do it! Depressing...

But today, I did something I've never done before! Know what it is inquisitive readers? Made photocopies...OF MYSELF! That's right, I put my face on the photocopier and pressed "copy." I got some pretty cool looking ones too; I look like a powerful wizard or something in one. The detail is incredible, although you really do look ugly in photocopies. The only downside is that I gave my self a headache; that copying light sure is bright when your face is right up to it.

So in sum, I think if I'm ever bored, I'll just make photocopies of my face. Besides, I get all my work done. Mostly most of the time. Nothing the next person can't handle if I don't.

how dare religion be a part of a wedding

This exerpt is from http://women.msn.com/1193769.armx?GT1=6657, dealing with peoples' gripes about weddings (this happens to be gripe #2):

"I don't like the full-on mass where you have to stand, sit, kneel, and sing for an hour. By the end of my sister's ceremony, I wanted to gouge out my eyes with a hot poker -- we're here to celebrate, not get converted. Unless they're really religious, it's overkill. It's as if they're saying 'Look how married we are.'" -- Anna, 33

rage...BUILDING

Well, maybe not rage, but disgust. Poor wittle baby, can't stand being reverent for an hour. The wedding service is for those about to getting married, not the FREAKING guests. Sorry, don't mean to be so bitter. But just as a heads up, if any of you who share this woman's mindset, you are not going to have a pleasant experience at my wedding (should someday I get married). Or maybe not, we Orthodox just stand for the full hour.

But seriously, this issue of having to spend *gasp* an hour in church is starting to get to me. People will stand for hours, nay days in line to get tickets for games, books, movies, concerts, etc. Or they'll spend hours at said events. But ask them to stand for one hour while you and the person you love are joined in marriage and it's "WHOOOOAAA man, you're asking way too much! Since when did religion have anything to do with marriage?? The only point of a marriage ceremony is the reception afterwards so you can get wasted!"

Argh! Anger! Incredible Hulk time!

I am sorry benevolent readers, it is just that this article is causing me to reflect on a ton of similar issues; it has ignited the proverbial powder keg. So, tis time to take a break and perhaps add more later.

last request from obsessiveness

Ok, I realize that I wrote/said that I'm turning over a new leaf this summer, so here's one last hurrah from my obsessive side. Try and answer the following honestly:

1. What Shakespeare character am I most like (leave out the females)?

2. What Harry Potter character am I most like (same request)? While you're at it, which of the 4 houses would I belong to?

3. What Lord of the Rings character am I most like (follow the pattern)?

4. What crucial battle (or war if you want go broad) could you see me fighting in? As in, manning the walls of Constantinople in 1453, a crafty bowman at Agnicourt, a daring fighter pilot with the Flying Tigers, commanding a frigate at Trafalgar, etc. Include whether or not I'd live.

5.If I were an animal, what would I be? If you so desire, you can break it down into various species e.g. if I were a bird I'd be an owl, if I were a dog I'd be a beagle, etc.

6. If I were a drink/food, what would I be?

7. If I were a color, which one?

8. which Greek god? Or heck, any mythological figure.

I realized I've asked a lot of these questions before, so if you have a favorite "obsessive Adam" question in mind, go ahead and put that down. Or any that you just want to beat me to.

I also realize I've given you dear understanding readers quite a plate full already, so you can be selective in your answering.

Also take into account that there's more to me than just crazy questioning.


Please...I just gotta get it out of my system! Then the healing can begin.

Slayer of creatures of the night

Watched "Blade: Trinity" last night with my bro and a friend. Decent flick, but it got me thinking; which undead hellspawn would I like to fight most?

For starters, there's the vampires. Scary muthas. But at the same time, I know their weaknesses; crosses, garlic, silver (not just limited to werewolves, oh no sir), wooden stakes, fire, decapitation, etc. Yes, I'm aware everyone has their own take on vampires; some movies have them immune to crosses and all that (which brings up a possible post in the secularization of mythic tales), but I figure it'd work. Or at least I'd try it. Another pro is the job satisfaction. I'm sure there's nothing quite like taking a blood sucker down, while there's always the chance I might die, I'd at least know it's for a good cause.

Then there's zombies. Again, quite a few variations on them. We're all used to the lumbering yet oh so strong walking corpses, but some movies portray zombies as Olympic track and field athletes. The former I'd feel very confident in dispatching; aim for the head and it's "bye bye brain eater." Same technicque for the latter, although if they're speedy quick, the risk of mortality goes up.

Werewolves you ask? Yeah, I could take 'em. But at the same time, I don't give much thought to werewolves. I'd actually rather find a cure for them then kill them.

Hmm...missing anything? Ghosts! Oooh, not my field of expertise. So yeah, lets leave those guys out shall we?

Minor creatures like gremlins, goblins, etc. can probably be dealt with as I go along.

Now all I gots to do is find these vile things and rock the kazbah!

Oddest luck

Go figure. Just when I take off my pants to start dancing, the phone rings and my sister runs out of her room.

...

What?

It's hot by the computer...no pants = cooler. I already had my shirt off too.

Just cause I can't get enough of a good thing!

Directions:

1. Turn on your speakers (if they're not on)

2. Turn up your speakers to a comfortable listening level; more if desired.

3. click on this link:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/peanutbutter.html

4. dance (optional)

5. thank me

Abandon the "profiler" bandwagon

Just watched Fox's newest show "The Inside." It's main characters are FBI profilers, and each is your typical stereotypical law enforcement agent. And you know what folks? I'm sick to death of all these TV shows and movies that have profilers in them!

Why you ask? If you haven't noticed, there's been quite a rash of movies e.g. "Mindhunters" and now shows featuring the psychological aspect of crime. Sadly, they're all horribly inaccurate when portraying profilers. This annoys me to no end.

See gentle readers, while mainstream culture/Hollywood seems to go "oooh, behavioral scientists are so hip! Gosh, they crept out of no where. I know, let's get a bunch of hot looking actors and actresses to portray what we think profiling SHOULD be like," I tire of the regurgitated plot lines. Now, not to mix my own pudding of course, but I found out about the Behavioral Science department of the FBI when I was in 6th grade (ah...the joys of age 11...nigh on 8 years ago). By the time I was in 8th grade, I was familiar with killers like Ed Kempen, Wayne Williams aka The Atlanta Child Killer, etc. Dark I know; I'm not necessarily proud of this knowledge, just stating a fact. When I was in 9th, I knew what the requirements of getting into the FBI and becoming a profiler. Why? Because I honestly wanted to be a profiler (still kind of do, but I've learned more about myself and don't think I could handle it). Thus, whenever I see a preview or trailer for the newest bit on profilers, I get a bit disgusted. For example, in "The Inside," after just watching the little snippet before the opening credits, I already had problems with it.

I'm not going to go into details (or maybe I will later), but basically, real profiling is not a glam job performed by gorgeous psychics.

Actually, here are some example so I don't look like a nut and you readers come away with something. First off, profilers do NOT arrest bad guys. Their role is a clinical one; they assess the evidence and assist the local or federal authorities in identifying/laying a trap for the killer. In addition, their role is often educational; they'll give the local police tips on what they're doing. Building on that, not every murder case involves a profiler. Local authorities either ask for help from the FBI, or on certain high profile cases, the Bureau assigns a profiler to help. So basically, the image of a profiler suiting up and chasing down bad guys all by themselves is utter trash.

In short, I'm sure everyone has their own qualms with certain shows. People in the Medical field probably have a laugh over show the "inside workings of a hospital" and the like.

For me, my problem is with profilers on celluloid.

And it's personal...

Staying sharp in the blogging world

Well, it is indeed in time for an update. The downside? Ain't that good folks.

I'm sorry! I really am! I'm kind of low on material. While normally, I'd launch an onslaught of funny and amusing anecdotes, all you'll get dear reader, are some serious thoughts.

Now one reason for the lack of funny is because parts of me are a bit depressed. Normally, when summer starts, I'm usually a bit restless; I have all this energy but no way to vent it e.g. I want to play tennis but no one else will. But at the moment, I'm bummed because my time at St. Anthony is done. It was fun going there, talking to people and all that, and I'll miss it. Plus, I wasn't able to say "good job" to some kids on their presentations, and that bugs me a little.

*disclaimer: this isn't the normal internal conflict that you're all so used to; this is more serious. Remember ladies and gents, it's a new Adam you're talking to!

Oh yes, another reason for the lack of updates come from YOU fellow bloggers. Don't get me wrong, I like all your blogs, but lately all of us have been going through a dry spell. Jaime's stopped, Dusty writes about Nicki, Nicki writes about Dusty, Nicki and Dusty write about each other, Jordan's stuff is good yet short and also updated unfrequently (and while congrats on your new job buddy, that's gonna cut into your free time), Erich's are thought-provoking but above my intelligence, and Dawn is busy with other things like oh, her pregnancy (HER'S is the only legit excuse suckas!). Now I'm not trying to put myself in a position "above" you all, but I want to keep whatever edge I think I have in my writing as sharp as possible. Also, with Daniel up north, I can't exactly do an anti-liberal post to annoy him (only done in retaliation mind you if he annoys me), so most political blogs are out.

Actually, I'm going to ignore what I just said and make one political comment. Or two. Or three. Guess we'll see what happens. Hillary Clinton = bad choice for president (must find out more so I can back up arguments better). John McCain = someone who I'm thinking is a decent politician and I must learn more about. MN Legislature = stupid for not deciding on a budget yet. I mean holy constituents batman! You [legislators] were SUPPOSED to get it done by what, May 21. Know what happens if the budget isn't decided by July? The state shuts down. Which means thousands of people don't work/get paid until it's taken care of. All because both Democrats and Republicans are being morons and sticking to party lines.

And lately, I've been thinking about my lady situation. Again, keep in mind that this is a more sensitive and mature approach. Yeah, I can't articulate what I want to say...perhaps in another post. BUT! Imagine a more mature version of what I've expressed in the past.
...
If that's possible.

I'll try and cram out a better post or two tonight. My juices are a flowin' and something's bound to inspire me!

Summer wants to RUMBLE

Man it's been hot here lately. And humid. Which means life is rough at the moment. Sweating all the time, too hot to do physical activity, and the feelings of oppression caused by Masta' Sun do not make me a happy camper.

For example, it ruins one of my true loves; tennis. It's too sticky out to enjoy. Plus, even if I find the weather alright, there's the problem of finding a partner who also feels that way. New trait that I desire in a girl: ability to handle extrememe temperatures; not sure if I want to tack on "better than me."

And we can't forget sleeping! Goodness I'm miserable at the moment; even with the windows open. The only upside is it does motivate me to get up in the morning; no sense in sticking around in a hot bed.

Needless to say, this weather turns shaving into an act of masochism. How's a man to shave? Cold water? What, are we barbarians? Hot water it is. But when you're sweating already, the thought of lathering your face up as you stand over a sink of hot water isn't all that appealing. Yet, from pain comes pleasure; there's few things more refreshing than a shaven face.

In addition, my clothes selection is tragically quite limited. I need more shorts. More t-shirts too. Presently, it doesn't matter because all I do when I get home is strip naked and put on my swim trunks. But I can't do that every day...or can I?

...

Actually I can't. But if we had a pool I could! Oh, what I wouldn't do for my own personal pool...that or a slurpy machine.



Stay cool folks.